These are most likely not going to be listed in the order that I had them.

+For this first one, my brother’s boyfriend (who stayed with us for a few months) and I were supposed to drive to my grandma’s house. Cody was driving rather erratically. At one point he was actually texting so I was driving for him from the passenger side. We ended up just going home. The house was messy, my mother said she needed to go to a doctor’s appointment, so I’d be free to use the tv to watch movies.

So she left for her appointment and I started watching Toy Story 3. I knew that’s the movie I was watching, but I was watching a scene that was not in the movie at all.

+In this next dream, that guy who always cancelled our dates, the guy I gave up on? Well I was at a party and I met up with him and another guy apparently. Both of them ended up blowing me off. Afterwards, I remember having an inflatable pool chair, out of nowhere. Like it was all inflated and everything, and I was just carrying it around. Then I remember being with my mother in a weird kind of store, and I wanted a pen you could clip to a zipper.

+In this third dream, I don’t remember anything, but in one of the text notes on my phone that I type dreams in super fast before falling back asleep, I have written “Dream: Chased by super fast snapping turtle”. Which I literally laughed out loud upon reading just now.

+In this fourth dream, I was delivering paychecks for rich people. As in, delivering the checks so the rich people wouldn’t have to. Not delivering checks to rich people. Anyway, on the list of people I had to deliver to was, I’m not kidding, a honey badger. Why honey badgers need paychecks is beyond me.

+In this fifth dream, we were in our old house. For some reason we were ready to head to the city that my brother goes to college in. Dad was taking me in his truck. I had an argument with mom about the dirty floor, and on top of it all I forgot my wallet.

+In this sixth dream, which probably happened before all the others in this entry, I was in a place with a BUNCH of people around. We all sat and watched a movie about the kids of the world. I was just about to eat a piece of toast with jam on it when I woke up. I remember that so well because in the dream, I had the toast in my hand, and had  opened up my mouth to take a bite of it… then I woke up.

+In the seventh (I told you there were a bunch) dream, that guy who cancelled all our dates (I seem to dream about him a lot) and I were hanging out at my best friend Vanessa’s house. She was reading a book, and I was playing music on her computer. Then Vanessa was late for work and that guy had to take me home.

+In the eighth dream, I was in a larger city. I was with people I didn’t recognize but knew in the dream. We were at some rich chick’s house. I had to work at 8 and I was running horribly late. The rich lady was lounging on her couch, falling asleep. I don’t remember a whole lot about that one. Just a couple fleeting visuals.

+This  ninth one is from last year (2011) but I never got around to putting it here. Or maybe I did. So you’re getting it again. I was setting up Christmas decorations, and mom yelled at me for doing it wrong, so I yelled “If you don’t like it do it yourself”.

One dream involved the trying on and buying of shoes. That was because at work last night I had to unpack a few boxes of shoes. I don’t remember much about that one.

I remember more about this bizarre winter one. I live in Iowa, and it’s December, so there’s snow on the ground. In this dream, there was a giant white two lane slip n slide parallel to the road. I was in a car with someone else (they were driving) and I just kept looking at the slip n slide going “Why do they think that’s a road?” because there were people driving their cars on the two slip n slides. I also seem to remember somebody trying to get up a huge, icy hill.

The slip n slide was probably because I was looking at funny pictures lastnight and one of them was a slip n slide, but I’m at a loss as far as the rest of it. XD

Okay. So, in this dream, David Tennant was a photographer. I was with some other dude, and he wanted to take our picture. On the steps of a Mayan temple. It was sunny and golden out but I don’t remember it being super hot.

The only other thing I remember is thinking (in the dream) “What the hell is going on here?”. Even dream me thought it was odd, and if you’ve read any of these other dreams, that’s saying a lot.

Yeah. I have no idea where that dream came from. I saw a facebook ad for the movie Fright Night, which Mr. Tennant is going to be in, so that might be where he came from…Ever since he kicked the Doctor Who bucket I’ve needed a fix. XD

My mother likes to scoff at me when I complain about the route because, in her own words “Oh, you only work for an hour a two a day and yet you bitch about it”.

The only things I bitch about are 1, getting up at 5am. It sucks. Two? The Sunday papers. Usually takes three bags to fit them all, and just one of the bags weighed almost 20 pounds by itself.

If you’re wondering how that relates to this dream, don’t worry… it does.

Sometimes, I try to get a bit of sleep when I get home from the route, or later in the day (when the birds have let up on their incessant chirping). This dream comes from a particularly unsuccessful nap attempt in which I was only in bed for half an hour.

I was literally only asleep long enough to have this dream.

I was riding my bike and I came to a giant, sandy hill. There was a dad and his kid riding a weird looking tractor thing that had a huge point on the front. Like it was a little vehicle for riding around for fun in, kind of like a power wheels car. They were laughing and having fun making these huge rows in the sand.

The rows were too big to bike over, so I had to walk my bike. When I came up to them, I was about to say “Could you guys remember to smooth out those rows when you’re done because people can’t bike over them” but then I started to uncontrollably swerve towards the tractor thing.

The dad looked at me, and I kept leaning until I fell over, and that’s when I woke up.

Well, we came across a goat. We were in part of the farm that you could explore on foot and this goat just started following me.

It was a pretty small goat but it kept headbutting my knee. We thought it was cute how the goat thought it could hurt me by ramming into my knee.

That’s pretty much it. I have been having issues with my left knee lately, so I’m guessing the goat is just a dream manifestation of my knee issue. But it’s still pretty funny. It’s like a dream my brother had as a child where there were bears pouring buckets of sand over his mouth.  He woke up and his blanket had been covering part of his face.

Much more inane than the last dream my brother told me about in which my parents and I apparently made sausages out of people, and then tried to get my brother to eat the sausages.

We’re not sane here. What can I say?

I’m sure you haven’t yet been made aware of this, but I started delivering newspapers this week, on Monday. I have to get up at 4-4:30 am for this. So, I know this is only my fifth day (not counting way back in 2006 when I delivered papers for a couple months), but sometimes I try to get a little bit of sleep later in the day. It’s hard, though. I have a hard time getting to sleep when everyone in the house is awake and active, and with all the ambient daytime noise. Also, I can’t sleep very well when it’s light out, even if I cover my eyes.

That may seem like inane rambling for a dream blog, but I have a reason for telling you that, and the reason is one of the dreams I’m going to tell you about happened during a 1 hour nap I took in the afternoon a couple days ago.

Now, when I actually fell asleep for that nap, I started dreaming almost right away. And it was a really strange, light sleep. I knew I was asleep and dreaming, but I was awake enough to think “Huh. I’m having a dream”.

So, in the first dream, I was by an overpass, like those on the interstate. Except… there wasn’t a road. There was just this row of overpasses,  and the rest was a grassy field. It was almost like there was a concrete path underneath, but it wasn’t a road. Now, one of the giant posts holding up the particular overpass I was by, it looked like there was a lion’s paw behind it. Like there was a lion walking, and all I could see was its paw.

Except when it came into view, it was just a lion’s two front legs. The lion had no back legs, head, tail or anything. It was like the lion’s two front legs and a chunk of torso were walking around. It wasn’t like it had been cut off a lion, because the whole thing had fur covering it.

Now for the second dream. I was outside a room where there was going to be a dance performance. Nobody was there yet, but I think the dancers were practicing. Well, I was strangely bouyant and was bouncing uncontrollably into and off of walls. I was worried I was making noise and that the dancers would be irritated with me for making such a ruckus.

And… I said the bouncing was uncontrollable, and it was for the most part, but there was a part where I swear I was awake enough to control how fast I was spinning.

So I guess you could call that my first experience with lucid dreaming. I’d love to try again, but getting to sleep during the day is really difficult and irritating,  so I’m not sure how often I’ll attempt that.  Even if I go to bed as soon as I get home from delivering papers, I have a hell of a time getting to sleep.  And I maybe only add one or two hours of sleep, if I’m lucky.

I’m not sure. I woke up at 4:30 this morning, and I was still half an hour early delivering papers (they must all be delivered by 6:30).  Now, I prefer not to cut it fine in terms of when I finish delivering, but I’ll wager that I could probably sleep in until 5:00 am and still have all the papers delivered on time. On a weekday that is. Tomorrow and Sunday there are extra houses on my route. Hopefully they’re ones I pass every day; the streets in my town are strange because we had to design them around an oddly shaped lake.

But I’m sorry. That’s way too much random ramble for a dream blog.

Basically, I hadn’t yet learned to listen to music in moderation, so that led me to beat DD’s music to death and resulted in me not being able to listen to them for several years. Outside of a few songs on Red Carpet Massacre, that is.

A month or two ago I discovered it had been long enough that I really kind of missed Duran Duran’s music. Also, at the same time, I feel my Def Leppard obsession coming back a little.

Anyway, onward. Yesterday I watched a Lady Gaga monster ball concert on HBO so I had concerts on the brain. Shortly before bed I listened to a couple Duran Duran songs. In the video for one of them, Simon had long hair, and my weakness is long haired men. S0… yeah.

So in the dream, I was at a concert in much the same setting as the Lady Gaga one (she was at Madison Square Garden). At the Lady Gaga concert there had been a ton of people with cameras. Also, in real life, I recently got given a hand me down webcam one of my brother’s friends was getting rid of.

So, in the dream, I was trying to get good pictures of Simon, and the reason I mention the webcam is because in the dream I remember looking at my camera to see how the shots came out and they reminded me of the pictures of myself I tried to take with my webcam. I remember sitting in my seat at some point, but much like the Gaga concert, lots of people were standing up for much of the concert.

I wish I could tell you I remember more about this dream. I woke up at 3am and remembered my phone was still plugged into the charger, and I generally don’t leave it in all night so I had to unplug that. And I wish I’d had enough sense to write the dream down in my phone because I certainly remember that there was more to the dream than that.

I was at some concert of his, in the auditorium of the community college I used to go to. Which is funny because that place doesn’t have nearly enough seats for a Paul McCartney concert. Lol. Anyway.

I was up on stage for something afterwards, like I’d won some contest where I got to meet Paul or something. After I shook his hand, I came back up and said that I’d never heard that arrangement of the last song he’d played at that it was very good.

He said thank you but it was a weird ‘I appreciate your comment but I’m really kind of busy’ impatient thank you.

Then, I guess the guy I sorta like was my ride home and I was telling him about it, but he was bitching that all they could see from the seats was two shadows, and was bitching about something else. A song or something. I really don’t remember what. So I remember feeling kind of taken aback by that.

Then we were at this house with this other person. We were all three in this room with two beds in it, and a towel rack. Someone spilled water on the floor, half on my foot. So I went to grab a towel.  The last thing I remember is drying my foot off, with the random person in the house was sitting on a bed staring at me, and the guy I kinda like was standing, but also looking down at my foot.

I have no idea where this shit comes from. I really don’t.

So, for the first part, I was around a crappy looking stage. Apparently, I lived in the building. They were shooting a movie there. And Johnny Depp was there. I was going around, taking pictures, saying I was going to post them to facebook and brag about how Johnny Depp was at my house.
Then, we were still in the same building, but a friend of mine (can’t recall who) and I were watching a movie with a young Dustin Hoffman in it. May have been Midnight Cowboy. I can’t remember. Anyway, I remember telling her that “You can have that other guy if I can have Dustin Hoffman”. Lol. Which does sound like something I would say.

Then, for the second part, it switched to me in the kitchen we have in this house, and I was mixing up mashed potatoes, and the recipe called for part mashed cauliflower, but I realized we didn’t have cauliflower. So, I put the half done mix in the fridge, because I was going to wait until we got some cauliflower.

Then, for the third part, it switches to outside a car dealership. There was a giant kite shaped like a helicopter. It was orange and yellow. Anyway, in the dream, the wind was really strong, and there was a crowd of people outside watching the humongous kite violently swing around, due to high wind gusts.

Finally, the kite smashes into an observation booth on top of the car dealership, and someone was yelling about how there was broken glass. And that’s what I remember.

Now, the first part, I have no idea where that came from. A week or two ago I watched Midnight Cowboy, which was weird, disturbing, and mom and I aren’t quite sure how it won an oscar, but we enjoyed it. But the rest? Completely out of nowhere.

The second part, was because last week I watched a show on the cooking channel where a girl was talking about ways to make certain foods have less calories, and one was to mix mashed cooked cauliflower with mashed potatoes.

The third part came from this: yesterday there was a kite festival in town, where a bunch of people fly large, elaborate, brightly colored kites over the frozen lake. Still, I’m not sure where the smashing into a car dealership part came from. Lol

Well, let’s get to it. The first two are a couple weeks old. The first of these dreams was about Colin Firth. He had to help out with some newscast, but it was a laid back type one. Almost sort of like… The Daily Show or something. It wasn’t like super political or anything, but it was more centered on commentary and stuff than straight up reporting. It seemed like fun. Anyway, I believe Colin wasn’t feeling so awesome, but he was filling in for someone, or else they wouldn’t have had a second host, and apparently they needed two. Anyway, Colin and the other random guy that was there had to keep pressing buttons that corresponded to different sounds, but the machine kept messing up. So they’d push the button for like, cricket chirp, and the car horn sound would play. This amused them, because they kept going “Now here is a crowd of people cheering” and an animal noise would play instead. It was really bizarre.

The second one, I had a baby. Not like, I actually HAD a baby, but I was holding a baby and referred to him as “your son” to someone. And I remember, in the dream, thinking “Well I didn’t want one at all, but I suppose since he’s here I’ll be okay with it”. And you know… I don’t even know if it was actually mine. I could have just been holding someone else’s son. Or I could have been going out with someone, and it was their baby that the mother walked out on or something. It was weird.

Now to the most recent dream I had. I believe I had it last night.

I dreamed that I went to a movie.  There was a lot of food inside. Like almost everyone in there had food, and I think there was some cookie/cupcake vendor’s stand actually set up in the aisle of the theatre.

When I got out of the movie, I was waiting in a lobby that reminded me of my high school. There was a folding table set up, which I think used to have food on it. I remember holding a stemware glass that had some sort of cupcake in it. I remember thinking (in the dream) that I was stealing the glass because I really liked it.

Okay, so then I go outside to await my ride. It was like summer out.  Then, it suddenly either switched point of view to some guy, or I could hear him on the phone, but Betty White was his grandmother. He was threatening to be really really immature if he didn’t get something, and (on the phone) Betty White was like “DON’T YOU DARE”. I just remember standing outside, eavesdropping on this guy, looking at the line of cars that had come to pick people up. I remember not being able to figure out which car was my moms (she was my ride home apparently) and that’s all I remember.

I am telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I absolutely cannot make up a dream that bizarre.